Hard Things of Faith

They call me “Philly” because they don’t really know what it means.  They don’t know that I was taught to fight first.  My natural bent is to come out verbally swinging and ask questions later.  I was taught to handle things in a way that produces the desired outcome, and sometimes that goes against what society thinks is acceptable.  “There is something about Upper Darby.  It gets under your skin.   It assaults you by refusing to coddle you-  then it stays with you for life”.    Maria Panaitis When I read this quote for the first time, I was left stunned.  This was it.  This is the place that helped shape who I am today. Upper Darby is a part of Delaware County, Delco for short. A suburb of Philadelphia.  It’s not in the streets of Philly but we have a grit unto our own. It’s not everyone from there, but there are a good number of us who have the same thought process.  We love hard, we fight hard and God help you if you hurt those we love.  It’s arrogance a

My bible study left me without words tonight.  1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 is a well-quoted verse of scripture. So often though we can quote this verse and have very little understanding of what it means or what Love really looks like.  How many times have we said "I love you", be it to a friend, family member or spouse and then said something harsh or did something ugly? How many times have we seen Love distorted by sin? I am challenged by these words. I am left undone at the thought of how I love and how I am loved.  Will you be left undone as well? Love is Patient : Even when you feel like forcefully expressing yourself.  Love bears pain, or trials without complaint showing forbearance under provocation or strain and is steadfast despite opposition, difficulty or adversity. Love is Kind : Even when you want to retaliate physically or tear down another with your words.  Love is sympathetic, considerate, gentle and agreeable. Love is not Arrogant : Even whe

How many times have you heard it said that people like "that" are going to Hell as they point at you? Who has said that there is no place in the Kingdom of Heaven for a person like you?  This doesn't phase you because you are seemingly content with your position in Hell.  Somewhere along the line, someone told you that Hell is going to be a great big party of misfits where you will fit right in. They lied. You have no need to debate faith and religion because you live in darkness, far from anything heavenly or divine.  Most likely, you don’t care to think about such things.  You believe the lie that you are a horrible person or at the very least, beyond the reach of anything Holy. I can imagine how dark your thoughts are.  Your mind is Satan’s playground and you want to indulge yourself in fantasies only he can conjure. He can show you things that normal people would be disgusted by.  You’re not normal though; these things don’t disgust you, they intrigue and ent

I have a childhood friend who prayed his salvation prayer several years ago and today he has no more relationship with Christ than before he said his prayer.  I desperately want to believe that my friend knows Christ, but from his own lips, he does not.  He has been gracious in allowing me to share his story. He and I are part of a group of friends that have ebbed and flowed since we were kids.  A few years ago, our group of friends came back together and it quickly became evident that several of us had come to know Christ.  The natural thing was to share our faith with our friends. Our testimonies were well received. Our walk with Christ; well respected. After spending time with those of us walking with Christ this friend was hungry to know more of what we had found. He has known us for most of our lives and could see changes for the good and wanted to know more. We were happy to share all the Lord had done and was still doing in our lives.  We did all the things Christians do,

It’s a dark, hidden place in the recesses of my heart.  No one has access to, not even the Lord.  Though he may see my wall of brick and mortar, though he may know what lies behind, I do not grant him access, I do not let him in.  It’s a place that I do not understand and cannot release.  It is the burial place where my mother’s memory remains.  It’s Mother’s Day again.   This will be the 3rd Mother's Day without my mom.  In some ways, I am saddened by that, in some ways I am relieved, but really I just want to be numb to it.  I don't know how to grieve this loss.  Our relationship was fractured and dysfunctional.  There is hurt so deep, I don't know if I can brave the journey to go back and face it.  It's much easier to just keep moving and try to pretend that this broken relationship doesn't leave me broken-hearted, but there is an ever-present current that runs beneath the surface, is it pain, is it grief?  I don't even know.  All I know is it hurts. I

How are you planning to honor your mom this coming weekend for Mother’s Day? There are some of you that have a great relationship with your mom and can’t wait to honor her this weekend.  There are some who have lost your mom and even through tears and a broken heart, you will pay tribute to her memory this weekend because she was great and your love for her uncomplicated.  There are those of us though that have a different story, our relationships with our mothers are complicated, both in life and in death. Scripture speaks of honoring our mother and father several times, but it starts in Exodus 20:12 as part of the Ten Commandments.  Let me ask you this though, is it hard to honor your mom daily, let alone on Mother’s Day. I used to go to the card section and look at card after card and walk away disgruntled.  Not only did I not find a card, but I would feel worse for having looked. It was just yet another reminder that I didn’t have the relationship with my mom I s

                        I woke up this morning intending to do a FB Live video. January has been a month of bringing awareness to  Post-abortive Healing.  I wanted to address a question that I have heard through the years about abortion.  That did not happen.     The sky over the mountain range was beautiful and inviting.  The sun was out and warm, but the wind was strong.  I like to record from different places in the city, but recording would have to be done from an enclosed location due to the wind, so off I went to look for the perfect place.   Once I found a place I liked, I started to gather my thoughts.  I can’t talk about this subject without talking about her. It should not be a surprise by now, but sometimes I am still caught off guard by how much I am moved by her.   Even though I have never seen her.  The child I was once afraid to acknowledge, even to myself, is now a part of my daily life. Though I cannot touch her and I don't know what sh